Every day, I get a message from at least one potential submissive that turns out to be a timewaster. If you scroll through findom-related hashtags, you’ll learn that I’m not alone—every Domme seems to be dealing with time-wasting “subs.”
On the other hand, there are hundreds of “Dommes” out there that are just girls (and guys!) that discovered financial domination is a quick way to make a buck. They don’t actually want a D/s relationship. They just want cash. While Dommes are dealing with “subs,” subs are dealing with Dommes that won’t open their message no matter how much they send.
Finding a Domme that you can connect with isn’t as easy task and it should never be as easy as tweeting “someone please rinse me.” If you’re a submissive looking for a Domme, following these simple steps can help you find a Domme that you can actually have a D/s relationship with.
Identify your kinks
Not all Dommes are the same. Some specialize in humiliation, while others prefer to take a kinder approach. Do you want a Domme to completely control your budget, or one that you can spoil with gifts, rather than cash? Before you look for Dommes, you should identify your hard and soft limits for domination.
Do your research
Dommes are a dime a dozen. Every couple seconds, a Domme is tweeting using findom-related hashtags, demanding subs send tributes. You might be tempted to just pick the first one that you’re attracted to, but first you should do your research. Twitter-stalk the potential Domme. Take a look at how they engage with their submissives, what they are looking for, and what kind of content you enjoy. If they have a website or accounts on different content-sharing sites, check them out. Do they sell content, messaging sessions, or video chat?
Very few Dommes accept messages without tribute. It may seem like a waste to pay a Domme before you actually connect with them, but it shows them that you are serious about serving them. If you’ve done your research on the Domme, you should feel confident enough tributing before messaging. Make sure that if they have a minimum tribute, you obey their wishes.
Approach the Domme
Introduce yourself with information about your recently-sent tribute. If they have a slave application, fill it out. Show them that you are serious about serving them. Remember to be polite when approaching and to capitalize titles like “Goddess,” “Master,” and “Domme.” First impressions are important and if you approach a Domme in a way that is insulting, you will probably end up being put on blast with screenshots saying “how NOT to approach me.” You should ALWAYS approach a Domme with respect and humility.
You might not immediately click with the first Domme you message but you should be persistent about finding one that can satisfy your interests just as much as you can satisfy theirs. Remember that a financial domination relationship is just like any other D/s relationship and you should focus on finding a Domme that wants to explore your interests, whether it’s cuckolding or small penis humiliation.